US president Donald Trump has turned up to the NATO conference very angry. And we’re going to assume it is because his cheating national football team got rinsed 4–1 by a very average Belgium side.
In fact, the president took the opportunity to basically slag off every country he could think of. So, like, four…
Iran was high among them. Commenting on the current shaky truce with a country that just kicked his arse in a sit-down chat with NATO’s buffoonish chief Mark Rutte, Trump said:
I think it’s over. I don’t want to deal with them any more. They’re scum. You know what scum is? They’re scum.
They’re sick people. They’re led by sick people and they’re vicious, violent people. And if they had a nuclear weapon, they’d use it. As far as I’m concerned, it’s over.
Or did he mean Japan:
Trump: "We had 11 missiles shot by the Islamic Republic of Japan" pic.twitter.com/FUOFLVZiKh
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) July 8, 2026
Who can say?
The UK was next up. Trump still has a proper sad-on about the Brits not letting him use their bases to bomb Iran (even though they uh, did).
He told gathered reporters:
The United Kingdom wouldn’t let us use the island for two weeks, so we had to fly back.
Denmark also got slated. This time Trump went back to claiming Greenland should be part of the US:
Greenland is a big problem for us… very important for the United States, but it’s not important for Denmark.
Trump on Greenland: "That's what hurt my relationship with NATO. Because Greenland doesn't help Denmark. Denmark doesn't spend money to really help Greenland, but it's an important part for the United States. And it's surrounded by China ships and Russian ships. Greenland should… pic.twitter.com/MdvZPdGrEn
— Aaron Rupar (@atrupar) July 7, 2026
Donald Trump — Your shit, and you knowwwww you are
Spain, which has taken a hard line on Trump’s warmongering, also got both barrels from the president:
Spain doesn’t agree to anything, and you shouldn’t carry them. I don’t want to do any trade with them, alright?
Donald Trump says Spain are bad people and no-one should visit them or trade with them.
The head of NATO sits there smiling. pic.twitter.com/UbvwRyM7iU
— Saul Staniforth (@SaulStaniforth) July 8, 2026
International alliance NATO also got a battering. Trump said the organisation is not spending enough:
I’m very upset with NATO, that we pay far, far too much. Billions and billions of dollars, too much, because it’s unfair, because we’re protecting them, so we protect them, but they’re not there for us.
Cool, bro. Anyway, here is Romelu Lukaku celebrating in front of some American dorks (as tweeted by an American dork, look at his American dork name):
Belgium footballer Lukaku waves goodbye, puts his hand to his ear, and appears to yell “f*ck you” to the @USMNT fans.
Classy. pic.twitter.com/yEOjcun76p
— Cole T. Lyle (@ctlyle1) July 7, 2026
And here is Belgium doing Trump’s weird creepy dance as part of that celebration:
Belgium’s team celebrated their victory over the US by mocking Trump’s signature double jerk off dance move. pic.twitter.com/emvy5tK6Xr
— Anonymous (@YourAnonCentral) July 7, 2026
Let’s be honest here, if losing the football makes you that sad you might as well invest some of the billions you pour into funding Israel into grass-roots football. Failing that, why not ring up the thumb-faced weasel that is FIFA boss Gianni Infantino and ask him to change the result of the war you just lost. Loser.
Featured image via the Canary
By Joe Glenton
